I’d like to further exploring here my relationship to relationship and where and how Love fits in. As I had written about previously, I’ve been noticing more clearly how if I am connected to a woman in a romantic way, even if it’s just in a longing way, I feel better about myself and more grounded. I’m now seeing more about Love and it’s autonomy within me.
I’m up north in Chandigarh now having met up here with Shanti to travel some with her around the north. Something peculiar has been happening for me in relation to her that I’ve been very curious about. The more time we spend together, the more clear it becomes that energetically we may not be a good match. She seems to battle more with the world, where it feels that I am more on a path of tring to cultivate more and more acceptance of everything exactly as it is. Those are gross characatures, but it does feel that way. The curious thing that I want to explore here is how in many moments I can feel the “I Love You Ness” of relationship with her. It comes up very clearly and simply in moments during the day. The words, “I love you” or “I really love her” arise within me, all while (and sometimes at the exact moments) the reality of our incompatibility continues to present itself. How can these contradictory forces exist at the same time? That’s really the explorationoftruth I want to do here.
Just yesterday we were at the Rock Garden in Chandigarh (which is an amazing sculpture garden – well worth the trip here itself) and at one point in particular, as she was taking some photographs with my camera, this voice of Love arose within me towards her. I sat there for several minutes and explored with awareness and curiousity the juxtaposition of this feeling of Love and our perceived incompatibility. As I studied it, it became clear to me that Love has an entirely separate voice of it’s own. Entirely separate. I don’t know if I ever truly realized that in my life before. “I love you” is in many ways disconnected from life, from practicalities. People in India have known that for ages which explains in part their predilection toward arranged marriages. So which of these is one to pay attention to? To me, at this unfolding point in my life, there is no other path but the path of Love, yet it must also be done with eyes open. Shanti is incredibly sweet too.
What seems to be emerging in clarity for me is the depth of the force in me that wants to love, and that simply does love. Phrased perhaps a better way, It’s becoming more clear how the force of Love in me wants to express itself, wants to become manifest. It just comes out so easily lately, especially so since I’ve been here in India. I look forward to the day when someone walks in to my life who has the capacity to meet me in this place. Perhaps she’s here already, but until that day arrives or it’s becomes clear here, I’ll just keep falling in love as already I have again today. I’ll keep paying attention to all of this too as Love having a life and force of its own within me feels great, but I need to keep watching how it connects with my own inner need and how it disconnects with practical reality, and how to balance all of that, should balance really be that which is called for.
I Love You!
4 replies on “Love Expressing Itself”
It all ever just is – it is not what we wish and would make so – Operate in love and humility and your vibrational energy will attract or repulse what is within her. The emotional aspect of love, a gift, shouldn’t be confused with the wholeness of love which guides and nurtures all beings toward their greater good and contribution to the one. Always consider that everything could just as easily not be as easily as it is. Again, not what we wish or seek is reality, only the changeless Absolute is going to ‘be’ and take place.One Love
I have long contemplated the role of romantic love in spiritual development. Wondered if it doesn’t become redundant in our final stages of evolution. Don’t know, just wondering. The older I get, the less easy it is to get infatuated. Paramahansa Yogananda wrote:“When you try to imprison Omnipresent Love in the form of one soul, it will escape and play hide-and-seek with you until you find It in every soul.”Bummer! I wonder whether this is true. But it certainly has been my experience thus far on planet earth.Thanks for the musings, Ted,love Willow
Hi Ted. I love you. Is there any difference between “I love you” and “I love you, too”? Between “I love you, too” and “I love you two”?I finally got a chance to catch up on your travels while on some travels of my own. I am far from home, well, far for me, anyway. But in a place that feels a lot like home. I love Chicago, but I am finding I like it a little less because Travis (and Julie and Sadie) don’t live here any more.I love how you described your chest smiling from one armpit to the other. As I read that, I wanted to ask you how your back was, but I decided not to in case you were trying to forget about it. And then a few paragraphs later you talked about that. That was pretty cool.Some things I’d love to hear your thoughts on when we get together for some chai some time:Is it possible that you have two (or more) hearts?Could romantic love be just practice for a universal love? Like maybe it sort of shows you what is possible, what to look for?And, of course, I think yer neat!
Thank you all for your thoughts here. It’s wonderful having such spiritual people behind me and supporting me on this journey. My friend Paul actually suggested that loving another may very well be my path to experiencing the Divine. Peppier, you are right on about that I think, but Willow, you too are right I think in that it’s only a path to seeing the Divine in all. Psiplex, as always you are wonderful in your comments. Looking forward to meeting you one of these days.