Phosphorescence, Knowingness and Totality

The other night I was in my hottub looking out at the ocean under a beautiful star-filled midnight sky.  There was no moon present so it was very dark, yet the waves had a luminance about them as they broke on the shore.  I pulled my camera equipment and tripod together and went down to the sand and spent the next two hours watching the sea glow from millions or perhaps billions of tiny creatures who were sharing their phosphorescence in the presence of an agitated sea.  It was beautiful and magical, as if the ocean as a whole was alive and communicating.  I didn’t want to leave, but eventually a chill set in in the wee small hours and I bowed to the magnificence and headed in to bed.

Recently, I am more in tune with an inner phosphorescence as well.  As I mentioned in my previous post, there is a greater sense of knowingness simply arising within my system.  A natural inner conviction that seems to know whether to go this direction or that, to do this or that, to not do this or that, to move towards or away from this relationship or that.  This conviction emanates from within my body rather than from my mind.  It’s a deep knowing and feels simple yet perhaps miraculous in its presence.  I’ve always had a strong mind orientation, and have felt tortured at times in making decisions and in choosing between paths at forks in the road.  This inner sense I speak of here feels a bit like the phosphorescence emanating from the ocean here the past couple of evenings.  When the ocean of my life becomes agitated, this glow of knowingness seems to arise to illuminates appropriate action / inaction.

I am appreciating the totality of life these days too.  Even though we tend to prefer certain experiences or states over others, I’m recognizing more deeply that there is nothing that isn’t reality, isn’t part of the Totality (It felt appropriate to capitalize Totality in that it has a holy sense to it).  I may still have difficulty with various stressors that appear in life, but I’m welcoming it all more as part of the whole.  I wrote here when confronted with some challenging situations while traveling in India last year, “To reject any part of it would be a rejection of the whole.” (see: “Sweet Moments in Palani”)  I wholeheartedly, albeit occasionally sheepishly, know that to be true.  A couple of days ago, in a conversation with a friend, I found myself saying, “Nothing isn’t not reality.”  I know you’ll probably have to read that sentence a few times.  I’m generally not prone to triple negatives, but the meaning is still the same – it’s all real, it’s all here, and to reject any of it would be to be at odds with reality as it is.  I remember my main teacher once saying that “enlightenment is not having preferences.”  I couldn’t agree more.  Nice word in this context too – “enlightenment,” in that I’m feeling the en-lightening glow of phosphorescence, bringing a more natural illumination from within.